Virginia is a friend of mine. Guess where she lives? VT. Yep, her parents named her after a state. A state they love. Apparently her dad has been looking for a job down there forever. Well he got one, and now she's moving. To Virginia.
Those are the facts, now for an extrapolation. I understand parents love things other than their kids. Who could blame them? But when you try to press that love onto your kids, it creates issues. Sure, you love flowers, but don't name your kid Crysanthemum. That's NOT cool. Are kids who are raised to be like their parents missing out on a big part of themselves? If they identify themselves as their parents, then who are they?
I dunno. I'm just wondering really. Is it cool to name your kid Virginia? What if instead of parents provided their kids names at birth, they provided jobs? Instead of being named "John", they dub you, "Bus Driver." And you grow up to drive buses. It's the same kind of thing. Parents exist to take away choices kids have to make. Fact. Don't try to argue that. Can babies choose whether or not to eat? Parents choose for them. What's your religion? Parents choose. Parents choose whether or not you are "too young". That's their job, I'm not knocking it, I think it's necessary.
Anyways...I'm interested in your thoughts. Whatchoo think 'bout Parents and Names and Love?
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I knew someone who said that they disagree when their parents didnt ever do anything for them. He then asked that person if they changed their own diaper and fed themselves when they were babies. So I guess we do need parents, and the choices they make for us when we're younger do affect who we are when we are older. But eventually we get older and we get to decide whether or not we agree with those choices theyve made for us. And at that point we may ultimately decide who we are, and not necessarily that we are who we're named after. I agree though, I will name my kid their own name so they can be their own person. You have some good musings.
ReplyDeleteI kinda have to disagree with you on the fact that they choose your religion. I mean, yes, they DO choose the path to put you on. But YOU are the one that chooses whether to take that path or drift off the path. They may make you go to church, but you are the one that decides in your heart whether to believe it or not. I've been forced into church my whole life. So it didn't take long for me to realize that I could just fake it and go through all of the motions of living the right way. They didn't see the difference, but it didn't make me feel any better. I became depressed from pretending to be someone I wasn't and lying to everyone. No one really knew who I was, they just saw who I let them see. Now, I'm not pretending anymore. So those are my thoughts. :)
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly what I mean though. Your parents guided you into a religion you didn't necessarily choose, and you were sucked into that and ended up feeling sad about something you didn't even have a choice in!
ReplyDeleteSaying we have a path to drift off of? Is there a right path? Is it drifting off or just changing directions? The whole idea of drifting off a path implies you were put there in the first place. What if we began life with no path to walk down? Where would we go?
But the reason why I was sad was because I was rebelling against that path that was set on. But once I stopped pretending and I actually believed and actually experienced God for myself rather than my parents experiencing Him for me, and forcing me into it, I was happy and wanted to go to church.
ReplyDeleteI can see your point in "Is it drifting off or just changing directions?" Lets say a parent was an alcoholic, does that mean they set you on that path too? Are you going to follow it or change direction? The choices we make today determine our tomorrow...it's just fact. You decided if you want to follow your parents path, and your gut will tell you if you're on 'the right path' or not.
I like your last two questions, think about an orphan, they don't have parents to set paths. I see it this way, they can become either stronger than the rest because they decided to make their own path. Or they decided to sit there and make nothing of themselves.