Personally, I've decided to remain consistent. No, I'm not going to stop trash talking people, I'm just gonna do it to their face too. Sure, it might be hazing, but I value truth over image. Yes ma'am, I think you smell funny and talk weird, and you're too clingy. Yes, I sometimes wear a pair of pants out of the laundry basket. Yes, sometimes I feel so emo I cry. Yes, sometimes I don't use shampoo in the shower. Nobody's perfect. I wear my flaws like an ugly hand-me-down sweater. I don't like it, but that's how it is.
You aren't perfect either. So if I call you on your imperfections, it's only because perhaps you'll take the time to improve yourself. Perhaps you'll become a better person. Tears and Broken Hearts are excellent building blocks to build an interesting person.
In Short. I love you world. Don't let me down... And that dress makes your butt look bulbous.
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It's commendable that you want to help improve people, or at least be honest about your feelings, but that's an inefficient way to improve people. It doesn't make improving any easier, even if it provides motivation.
ReplyDeleteIt's better to focus on strengths first to get them in a positive mindset, then suggest an action that will lead to improvement rather than derogatory statements. If you can't get someone to fear you, it's better to manage them through love than hate.
Nice title btw.
Heh. Who's this?
ReplyDeleteThat's the way people treat people nowadays, with the watering down of stuff. Tell me, is it working? Go up to any number of high schoolers, and ask them to name something they're the best at. Chances are, they're not gonna have an answer. Because people tell them they do good even when they do bad, so how do they know when they're really good at something?
I never said I used Derogatory Statements. I use honest ones. Is honesty really that akin to ill-will nowadays? Are lies the only way to make someone feel good?
You're right, you never said that. "Trash talking" connotes a statement which has a certain intent other than honesty in a derogatory sort of way.
ReplyDeleteBut the word "nowadays" needs no interpretation. I believe that this time a couple centuries ago, and all of human history before that, it was almost an act of war to in any way insult someone of the same class and certainly one for someone of a higher class. Compared to "nowadays," everything was more watered-down. Someone decided freedom of thought and expression were good things, and we've got the latter down pat.
I think it is working. I think its purpose is to protect the person who's censoring themself from blame when the other coward gets their feelings hurt. For its purpose, it works most of the time. As for motivating people to better themselves, unless they're submissive enough to obey or you're willing to take responsibility for their well being and guide them to the right actions, they are the only ones who can help themselves. It's about finding who they want to be, realizing what that entails, and doing it. Wishing and hoping and knowing what they want aren't enough. People are dumb like that.
I do believe your method does some good-I feel variety in their environment makes it less likely that they will develop irrational self hatred loosely based around their flaws. Something no one says can be an unspoken truth. As soon as it's out in the open, it's one person's idea and subject to scrutiny. It helps when you show you're flawed too and don't have all the answers.
As for any number of negative comments being honest, I have no doubt. I'm sure you believe them, or are at least very confident in them. But there is a difference between honesty and truth. Sometimes you're not even dishing out truth bombs. Does that not suck?
Lies aren't the only way to make someone feel good, but they are the only way to prevent someone from feeling bad. That's not the way it should be, but that's the way it is. Maybe you are able to avoid getting hurt by hearing peoples' uncensored thoughts, but not everyone is.
Lies will help you get ahead in life, too, as long as you can convince people you're lying less than them.
I think you can tell who I am from this. Then you'd know just how serious I am about everything. I love you...
Well, hiding behind a fake name is pretty brave of you.
ReplyDeleteIf you're who I think you are, stay the hell out of my personal life.
Wow, I totally agree with zak, we do all have flaws and people wouldn't be so quick to look downon others, if they truthfully look in the mirror, we also have strengths too, and the more people encourage them, the more we are apt to work on our flaws
ReplyDeleteLies always lead to destruction in the end
ReplyDelete